I was rocking some Keith and the Girl this morning, one of my favorite comedy podcasts…a couple in NYC doing a show from their home.  Great, great stuff...my daily delight.  15 minutes into Episode 896 and I hear a weird noise…then I hear nothing.  Nothing at all.  I glance at my iTouch screen and it’s black.  I try the center button, nothing.  I try the top reset button….nothing.  I try plugging it into my charger even though I know it’s got a full charge….nothing.

I quickly went through my mental checkbook, realized it would be 4 pay periods before I could part with $220 (recent Wii purchases have killed me financially), and nearly splattered my drawers.  2 months without an iTouch?  No way, can’t do it.  I’m too hooked.  My Podcasts, my Pandora, my AOL Radio, my other apps.  Just 13 months into owning my first piece of Apple equipment, the iTouch purchased in January 2008, I realize how much I need the iTouch.  After just a seconds worth of thinking about it, I need my October purchased MacBook. 

Apple HAS me.  I have become so dependent on my daily routines, which center around having the iTouch in my ear nearly all day and the MacBook connected to my fingers all night, that I can't fathom what it would be like not to have my iTouch...not to have my Macbook.  If it came right down to it, if my iTouch crapped out on me this morning, I'd be going to the Apple Store over lunch, buying the newest 8GB iTouch, and then spending the next 3 weeks eBaying things from around the house that "I don't really need" in order to finance the "emergency" iTouch purchase.  Am I disgusting?  Am I sick in the head?

Yea, I have a few other MP3 players laying around that would do the job (sort of) to get my daily podcasts pushed into my brain that I could use while I save up $50 at a time in order to pay cash for a new iTouch...but they're nowhere near as epic as the iTouch. I realy feel that going from an iTouch to anything else would be such a downgrade, such a step backwards, the perfect example of devolution that I just couldn't handle it.

Luckily after holding the button on front and the button on top for about 10 seconds, the lovely, glorious shiny, silver Apple logo appeared on the dark screen and moments later I was back into the Keith and the Girl episode.  Now, though, I am worried that the year old iTouch is on the brink of death.  I better start saving up for the inevitable now...

Apple flat out has me.

Since I found the Wii, I have been thinking about trying out the Wii Fit, as I am about 50 bills overweight, I could stand to loose a few pounds.  Granted, if I stopped eating out for lunch all the time, stopped stuffing my face at the wonderful and glorious China Buffet all the time, cut back on the luscious nectar of the gods (I've been on a Heineken Light kick lately), and ended my late night snacking of peanuts and M&Ms, I'd probably loose a few lbs naturally.  But in order to really look like the stud I am inside this pudgy Stay Puffed Marshmellow Man exterior I'm currently sporting, I'm going to actually have to get off my butt.  What better way to do it than to make a game of it?  In steps the Wii Fit concept.

So my quest began earlier this week, much the same way as when I attempted to obtain the Wii itself.  If you didn't catch my antics then, here's the link.  I was talking to a friend of mine at work, J, the same girl who blew her eye to smithereenes playing Guitar Hero.  She stated she'd been given the thumbs up by her hubby to acquire the Fit and it was her mission to find one.  Shortly after our visit, I was speaking with my wife on the phone and after putting the initial bug in her ear, I was able to conclude the conversation with a "Do whatever you have to do" style answer...you see, my lovely bride is of the opinion that spending money on video games isn't a very adult thing to do, especially since she wants new carpet in the house.  But I worked on her, got the "whatever you have to do" I was looking for, and I promptly began my mission.

Google bombing local stores, placing phone calls, and even driving to a Best Buy that was supposed to have the device according to their website netted me nothing.  I even took 1/2 a day (not entirely specifically to get the Wii Fit...there were other reasons too) to allow for some searching time to no avail.  At one point in the afternoon, my PDA rang with an email from J, still at work, who informed me that a Game Stop just up the street from where I would be had some and that she was heading there over her lunch to acquire one.  I had to go pick my Linux using daughter from preschool right in that area about an hour after that.  And even though I was on a vicious time limit to return in order for my wife to head out for her thing, I grabbed my daughter from pre-school, bolted up the road pushing the limits of my alloted time, ran into the Game Stop with my daughter and asked the guy behind the counter if they had any Wii Fit.

He informed me that they had just sold out that day...  I asked him if the last one was sold to a girl "about this high".  He confirmed.  The last one, it would appear, was picked up by my friend J just a short time before I arrived!  She's got my damn Wii Fit!  And of course, she stopped by my cube this morning to tell me all about it's gloriousness.

So my mission will continue this weekend, as I await the arrival of the Sunday paper and the various ads inside, hoping to spot one place advertising that they do indeed have the Wii Fit in stock.  I can see it's going to be another 8am Sunday morning trip 1/2 way across town to a random store to try to get this stupid game.  I sure hope it's 4.8 out of 5 stars turns out to be worth all of this effort!

-Corby- 

 PS On a funny note, as J was describing using her Wii Fit last night, she stated it was confusing at first because every time she had to step left, her Mii would step right and visa versa.  So she played several of the beginning games in this sort of reverse mode, thinking that just must be the way the Wii Fit works.  It wasn't until her husband informed her of the fact that she probably had the Wii Fit board backwards that things really started to come together for her.  I suppose just turning the board 180 degrees seemed too simple of a fix...who knows.  But yes apparently you can have the Wii Fit board backwards just like J did.  ROFL.  

So after slamming every store in Omaha over their lack of Wiis and giving the kid at one particular Walmart a hard time over his belief that they'd have the Wii "tomorrow early", I phoned said Walmart at 8:01am the following day, got the same kid, and sure enough he said they had just put a few out.  I, being a guy and very happy about the fact that at any given moment I am 3 minutes (max) away from leaving the house, tossed on my Misfits hat, flip flops (faster than shoes and socks...and yea, it's Jan. in Nebraska...not a smart idea), and jetted 13 minutes across town, a drive that should have taken 22 minutes.

When I arrived at the Walmart, I swear I saw two dads dropping off boys aged, perhaps 12, from different cars.  I just knew those little bastards were on a Wii hunt, too.  Knowing that if I cut through the sheets and pillows area, I'd be able to cut of about 15 seconds worth of walk time, I opted to bail left when those two boys went right.

Much to my surprise, they weren't headed towards the land of Wii, as I didn't see them in the Entertainment area.  So I go to the counter, ask the guy if they had any Wiis, and he said "Yes, right this way sir."  Now after my initial desire to punch him in the head for calling me 'sir', I'm only 32 after all, I followed him to the Wii case, watched him unlock the glass box, and pull out a very Mac-like Wii package.  I politely declined, twice, the extended warranty, plopped out my xmas money that had been burning a whole in my pocket for weeks, and exited the Walmart with my Wii. 

Quick, simple review of what I've seen so far...  Wii sports is fun.  Tennis = Aces.  Baseball = Aces.  Bowling = OK.  Boxing = not into.  Golf = fun but my 4-year-old daughter likes it better than I do...probably because she beats the tar out of me in it.  Wii Play = kind of worthless except for the fact you get a second Wii controller.  Mario Galaxy = aces.  A blast, so fun.  Worth it if you are a Mario fan from the 80s like me.  They have come so far...

Well, that's it.  I got the Wii, me and my daughter enjoy playing it, and now I'm working on building a wii bowling league management website for my wife's co-workers, all of whom are Wii league bowlers, but are forced to email scores to one poor sucker with a massive Excel document and apparently way too much time on her hands...

-Corby- 

Over the last 3 days, I have made approximately 11 physical store visits and another 40 phone calls to Game Stop locations, Best Buy stores, Walmarts, Targets, Shopkos, ToysRUs, shopping malls, and anything else under the sun I can think of that might sell gaming systems.  Not one, not a single one, has the Nintendo Wii for sale and 95% of them claim they have no idea when more will be coming in.  Two of the Walmarts I spoke with said to come in at 7am tomorrow (Sunday) and they "should" have 3-4 but taking that claim and putting it up against the "no idea" I got out of all the other stores, I somehow doubt the Walmart employee manning the electronics counter on a Saturday afternoon really knows much about anything.  

In fact, the same claim came from my local Best Buy during one of my calls yesterday..."We've got a truck coming in tonight.   Get here when the store opens and I'm sure you'll get one."  So 8:30am rolls around today, I bundle up my 1-year-old as momma and the 4-year-old were still sleeping and off to Best Buy we go.  Surprise....I arrive, the spot on the shelf that is supposed to hold a massive 2 Wii boxes is empty, and I hear from the girl running that area stacking Guitar Hero boxes literally to the rafters "No, no idea why she told you we'd have some today....we never really know what's on the trucks."

Question, why are there 800 Guitar Hero boxes if there's not a freaking Wii in this city to connect them to?!?!  UG! 

My frustration level with finding a Wii a week after Christmas has just reached it's tipping point.  I am a 32-year-old guy, nostalgic about Nintendo, excited for a Wii, and I've even got my wife and 4-year-old daughter on board with the $250 purchase (amazingly!).  But what is a man to do when he has $250 cash ready to plunk out for a gaming system and 40 phone calls and 11 trips to the store later, I have no Wii to show for it? 

Even alternatives like eBay and Craig's List are netting little results, though oddly if I were so inclined I can find a 400lb man on Craig's List to punch me repeatedly with chicken livers while singing Black Flag's "Who's Got The 10 1/2?" that appears to be no problem.  *shrug*  At best, there are Wiis listed on Amazon $100 overpriced, on eBay $300 overpriced, and the most promising post on Craig's List from Dec 24th for my area had the Wii up for $700.  Riiiight.

So I am Wii-less, yet don't want to be.  I find this a very odd situation.  I want something that I can not have, yet I know there are countless bratty, spoiled, snot-nosed 12-year-old ungrateful boys just down the street in every direction, in my very own neighborhood no doubt, playing their Xbox or Playstation 3s while their new Wiis sit left unattended to and unloved.  The world, it appears, is unfair.  What will I ever do for fun?!  Maybe I'll call up that guy and let him beat me up with the chicken livers...

As a recovering gamer addict, 3 years straight playing Everquest, I am well aware of what it is like to take gaming a bit too far.  I may or may not have been guilty of skipping school to raid Fire Giants, ensuring an empty Gatoraide bottle was close at hand for long spawn camping, and constructing a cone blanket apparatus hovering above my head and vented the tip of the cone out the apartment window with PVC pipe melted and bent with a series of Bic lighters in order to have a cigarette every now and then without having to leave my gaming chair.   Extreme is one thing, physical harm is another.  

Earlier this week, I had a conversation with a co-worker, J, about how her holiday weekend went.  Her excitement about receiving a Wii for Christmas could not be contained.  As she described the glorious moments of bowling and tennis, I swelled with jealousy.  I've been trying to talk my lovely bride into a Wii for our family for several months, to no avail.  J went on to describe how she had purchased for herself and her fiance the acclaimed "Guitar Hero" just after getting their new Wii.  As she mentioned this, I noticed that one of her eyes looked as though she had been assaulted with a fork, perhaps a rock slung from a distance.  To avoid being rude with the "Your eye looks like hell, what did you do?", as I'd prefer to stay on her good side because I thoroughly enjoy her occasional visits to my otherwise droll cubical, I left well enough alone and didn't inquire about her apparent injury.

As our conversation continued, she began to detail an account of a 5-hour Guitar Hero playing spree she and her hubby-to-be went on just days before.  As she described rocking out to the various tunes, mastering the easy and medium levels, discussing thrashing with GNR's Slash, and demonstrating not only her whammy bar action, but also the guitar neck horse reigns motion (my only possible description for how she illustrated wrenching the neck of the guitar in Marty McFly fashion circa the Enchantment Under The Sea finale guitar solo from Back To The Future), she gestured to her eye, bloodshot like it had escaped a drunken sailor and crawled into her socket looking for respite.  

She stated that during their 5-hour rock session, she felt something a bit funny in her eye and began to get a migraine headache.  It was shortly thereafter that her man, B, noticed her eye suffering from what appeared to be some form of inner explosion.  J had rocked so hard, so long, that she had burst a blood vessel in her eyeball.

When I asked how in the hell she managed to cause a blood vessel to explode while playing a video game, her response was simply, "I think I just forgot to blink....for 5 hours." 

Her sight turned out not to be a casualty from the holiday weekend and the Guitar Hero rocking, though the same could not be said for the entire bottle of Visine eye drops she continuously applied one drop at a time to her suffering socket dweller in order to look presentable for work on Monday post Christmas.

This is indeed a true story.  Guitar Hero nearly blinded my friend, J.

-Corby-